For as long as I can remember, I've been a Vandoren reed person. And for the last few years, specifically the V-12 variety. But I have always been open to other things. I've been known to play on Gonzalez reeds from time to time...they are pretty good, but I don't think that I would ever perform on them, I only use them for practice. They play nice, but my Vandoren's are just a step above in tone and response. Anywho...last week I decided to order, on the recommendation of my teacher, a new (to me anyway) brand of Rico. And normally, the name Rico sends shivers down my spine (flashback to students honking away on the popcicle sticks they call reeds....eek!) but I decided to try a box. This isn't the first time I have given Rico a chance; a couple years ago I tried the Rico Reserves, the local music store gave them to me to try (Thanks Boomers!). I hated them, haha. But I still wanted to give these new Rico's a chance, especially because my teacher had liked them. They are called Rico Grand Concert Select Evolution. There are three types of the Concert Select brand, and the Evolution is the most expensive (which I took as being the top kind). I figured that I should try the nicest kind to get a good feel for the Concert Selects.
In general, the Rico reeds were ok. They played pretty well, but the response was a little off. I think that I could have gone with a 5 strength instead of a 4.5 strength they felt a little soft and chirpy. Basically it still felt like I was playing a Rico reed, even when I moved the reed up on the mouthpiece. My high notes were much flatter than normal, and VERY unstable in the more extreme altissimo (notes that are almost always stable on my normal setup) Even when I compared the Rico to the Vandoren up in the light, you could see the difference between them. The tubuoles (or whatever they are, you all know what I'm talking about) were very skinny, dense and compact in the Vandoren, and in the Rico they were much more spread out and thicker. Obviously, the cane in the Vandoren is superior, and that's why it plays so much better. I really don't think that I will be ordering another box of the Selects.
I also ordered a box of Zonda reeds, but they were backordered so they won't be here for another week or so (or more). I'm interested to see how those compare to my precious V-12's (LOL) I have heard good things about this brand, and this particular box includes five hand chosen reeds.
I'm certainly not an equipment person, just give me a good mouthpiece (although I am a fan of the Zinner blanks!), ligature, and a responsive reed and I'll be fine. But I am enjoying exploring the difference between reed brands, especially since I've been playing on the same brand for over a decade. Its nice to see what is out there!
November 24, 2009
November 13, 2009
a day of realizations
Maybe this will be the last time I will ever take an audition on Friday the 13th. I am writing this from my hotel room in Charleston, West Virginia after a horrible day. The audition today is making me question whether or not this is all worth it, which is the first time I have ever seriously felt that way. After I got out of the audition, I just wanted to cry, and indeed I had to hold back tears until I was out of the building.
I was feeling fine this morning, but as I was getting ready to go to the audition site, I had this nagging feeling that today would not be a good day for me. And I was right. I'm not going to go into too much detail on the actual audition, except for the fact that I had three start-overs because I could not focus for some reason. And the funny thing was that I was completely focused about a half hour prior, it just dissolved for some reason.
I am so frustrated mostly because I have been seeing the same people at the last few auditions and the same people are making it through the prelims. Why can't I have that same consistency????? I don't know. It makes me extremely upset. I've broken down and cried several times today. Today something just broke in me and I just thought to myself I cannot keep doing this to myself. Its too stressful. I'm wasting my time and money. So I've made a decision. I'm going to take the President's Own audition in January, and I will either win the job or I am going to take an extended hiatus from auditions. I just can't do it anymore. I need a break.
Now, two months from now, I may well have changed my mind. But I don't think that will happen. This is the first time I do not have any sense of moving forward. I don't want to take the next audition. But I think I would regret not doing the Marine band audition, so that is why I am still planning on taking that one.
While talking to my sister this afternoon I realized how much pressure that I do put on myself in these auditions. I'm sure that is a direct cause of why I seem to spectacularly fail so much. I think a break from auditioning will give me time to: 1. get better at the clarinet, I need to focus on that instead of devoting so much time to focusing on getting better at excerpts; 2. network more, get my name and sound out there both in playing and teaching, this is something I have put minimal effort into. I think I put so much pressure on myself during auditions because I don't have much else going on in my career. Just imagine if I were consistently gigging and teaching; obviously the pressure for me to win an audition would be much less because I wouldn't need it so badly.
Now please note: I am not planning to take a break from clarinet. I love playing, and I look forward everyday to come home and practice. I just need a break from this constant state of preparing excerpts. I have taken a major audition every 2-3 months for the past 14 months. I just counted on my fingers....9 auditions in that time frame. I'm feeling even more mentally exhausted after thinking about that lol! I want to play more etudes, and more recital music! I think it may be fun to prepare a recital, and maybe play for friends here in Rochester before we move away and also play for my family and friends back in Colorado. Many of them haven't heard me play in years! It may be a fun and challenging task.
Well I'm going to go to bed now. I may divulge the details of today's audition at a later time, when I don't feel like I'm going to break down. I really need to get some sleep, I have a long day of driving ahead of me tomorrow!
I was feeling fine this morning, but as I was getting ready to go to the audition site, I had this nagging feeling that today would not be a good day for me. And I was right. I'm not going to go into too much detail on the actual audition, except for the fact that I had three start-overs because I could not focus for some reason. And the funny thing was that I was completely focused about a half hour prior, it just dissolved for some reason.
I am so frustrated mostly because I have been seeing the same people at the last few auditions and the same people are making it through the prelims. Why can't I have that same consistency????? I don't know. It makes me extremely upset. I've broken down and cried several times today. Today something just broke in me and I just thought to myself I cannot keep doing this to myself. Its too stressful. I'm wasting my time and money. So I've made a decision. I'm going to take the President's Own audition in January, and I will either win the job or I am going to take an extended hiatus from auditions. I just can't do it anymore. I need a break.
Now, two months from now, I may well have changed my mind. But I don't think that will happen. This is the first time I do not have any sense of moving forward. I don't want to take the next audition. But I think I would regret not doing the Marine band audition, so that is why I am still planning on taking that one.
While talking to my sister this afternoon I realized how much pressure that I do put on myself in these auditions. I'm sure that is a direct cause of why I seem to spectacularly fail so much. I think a break from auditioning will give me time to: 1. get better at the clarinet, I need to focus on that instead of devoting so much time to focusing on getting better at excerpts; 2. network more, get my name and sound out there both in playing and teaching, this is something I have put minimal effort into. I think I put so much pressure on myself during auditions because I don't have much else going on in my career. Just imagine if I were consistently gigging and teaching; obviously the pressure for me to win an audition would be much less because I wouldn't need it so badly.
Now please note: I am not planning to take a break from clarinet. I love playing, and I look forward everyday to come home and practice. I just need a break from this constant state of preparing excerpts. I have taken a major audition every 2-3 months for the past 14 months. I just counted on my fingers....9 auditions in that time frame. I'm feeling even more mentally exhausted after thinking about that lol! I want to play more etudes, and more recital music! I think it may be fun to prepare a recital, and maybe play for friends here in Rochester before we move away and also play for my family and friends back in Colorado. Many of them haven't heard me play in years! It may be a fun and challenging task.
Well I'm going to go to bed now. I may divulge the details of today's audition at a later time, when I don't feel like I'm going to break down. I really need to get some sleep, I have a long day of driving ahead of me tomorrow!
November 8, 2009
something that made me smile.
Yesterday, I taught a lesson to this really cute little 10 year old girl. She is very enthusiastic about playing clarinet, but often gets distracted because she is enthusiastic about everything! So most of the time I spend trying to get her re-focused on clarinet. But overall she is a good student. We usually play duets the last 10 minutes or so of the lesson, and she has taken a liking to one particular duet, which she insists on playing every week. That is fine with me, I'm not one to tell what she does or doesn't like to play. But this week, she decided that she wanted to make new dynamic markings on this particular duet. I said, sure! So I let her go to town, and she got so creative. She even created specific dynamic markings for each part. It was just so refreshing to see her get her creative juices flowing and really think about the music, not just the notes that are on the page. And she was having so much fun doing it! It was really great. I mean I already had a great day with a lesson with Mr. Grant, and coffee with a friend, but that was just icing on the cake. This is why I like to teach, for moments like that!!
November 7, 2009
ohhhhhhh......Daphnis.
Is is just me or is the Daphnis & Chloe excerpt the hardest excerpt ever? It seems like every time I have to prepare it I think to myself..."did I really play this at tempo before??", because I have, but everytime I have to go back to it I feel like I'm starting over. My fingers just don't move that fast, especially the first page. My fingers rebel and cramp up after the 2nd or 3rd repetition of the pattern. Grrr.....
I've got a pretty good practice routine for the last 2 pages of the excerpt, I just take one 16th note group at a time and play each one at a crazy speed (right now I do it at quarter=180), then I go back and do the whole thing @ 120, then I try it at tempo, but right now 160 is about my limit. I am hoping that I can speed that up closer to 168 this week. Now for the first page, I really don't know how to practice it, it seems no matter what my technique is for practicing it, it never gets any better or easier.
The only thing that keeps me somewhat going with that excerpt is I think about the first time I ever had to play it in an audition. It was my audition for DePaul university for my masters degree in 2006, and it was seriously terrible. I had slaved over the thing for 3 months and still could barely play it. I think now how much better I can play it and it makes me feel much better, lol!!
Lately I've been feeling pretty down lately, I feel like I should be doing more musical jobs....I feel like I have the talent for it, it is just really difficult to make others realize that. Especially teaching, I really wish I had more students. I'm actually wondering if it would be worth it to go back to school and get my teacher license so that I can get a job teaching at a school. Mostly because I'll probably make more money than I am right now. That's right, MORE money. I make so little money working as a secretary that a teachers salary looks mighty appetizing. I might actually be able to pay my student loans payments! But I don't even know where to start. It might be something to consider if Ben and I move, then I could get a job more easily. We will see I suppose.
I have also been toying with the idea of going back to school for my DMA. As much as it pains me to think about going back, it may be a smart move for my career. I've been looking at programs, I think I would definitely apply for Rice (although the application is REALLY tough), and UNC (that's Northern Colorado, not North Carolina) and study with Bil Jackson. But only if it really doesn't work out for Ben and his DMA, I want to give him a chance to get his degree first. I think that after Ben is done, I definitely will be getting a DMA, unless I have a good performance career going. So many variables!
It looks like no matter what happens with Ben's DMA applications, we will be moving out of Rochester. The tuba teacher at UNC (now I mean North Carolina - which is where he wants to go, but there aren't any spots open for next year) has offered to possibly work with Ben for a year until he graduates someone if none of the other programs he applies for works out. That would be the best option for me I think, there seems to be more playing and audition opportunities out here on the East coast. The other option (so far) is LA, which has good opportunities I'm sure, I'm just not really aware of them.
Sometimes I get so frustrated with how difficult this profession is. I have to remember how much I love doing what I do, and that I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because once I get the job, it will be worth all the struggle! At least that's what people tell me....
I've got a pretty good practice routine for the last 2 pages of the excerpt, I just take one 16th note group at a time and play each one at a crazy speed (right now I do it at quarter=180), then I go back and do the whole thing @ 120, then I try it at tempo, but right now 160 is about my limit. I am hoping that I can speed that up closer to 168 this week. Now for the first page, I really don't know how to practice it, it seems no matter what my technique is for practicing it, it never gets any better or easier.
The only thing that keeps me somewhat going with that excerpt is I think about the first time I ever had to play it in an audition. It was my audition for DePaul university for my masters degree in 2006, and it was seriously terrible. I had slaved over the thing for 3 months and still could barely play it. I think now how much better I can play it and it makes me feel much better, lol!!
Lately I've been feeling pretty down lately, I feel like I should be doing more musical jobs....I feel like I have the talent for it, it is just really difficult to make others realize that. Especially teaching, I really wish I had more students. I'm actually wondering if it would be worth it to go back to school and get my teacher license so that I can get a job teaching at a school. Mostly because I'll probably make more money than I am right now. That's right, MORE money. I make so little money working as a secretary that a teachers salary looks mighty appetizing. I might actually be able to pay my student loans payments! But I don't even know where to start. It might be something to consider if Ben and I move, then I could get a job more easily. We will see I suppose.
I have also been toying with the idea of going back to school for my DMA. As much as it pains me to think about going back, it may be a smart move for my career. I've been looking at programs, I think I would definitely apply for Rice (although the application is REALLY tough), and UNC (that's Northern Colorado, not North Carolina) and study with Bil Jackson. But only if it really doesn't work out for Ben and his DMA, I want to give him a chance to get his degree first. I think that after Ben is done, I definitely will be getting a DMA, unless I have a good performance career going. So many variables!
It looks like no matter what happens with Ben's DMA applications, we will be moving out of Rochester. The tuba teacher at UNC (now I mean North Carolina - which is where he wants to go, but there aren't any spots open for next year) has offered to possibly work with Ben for a year until he graduates someone if none of the other programs he applies for works out. That would be the best option for me I think, there seems to be more playing and audition opportunities out here on the East coast. The other option (so far) is LA, which has good opportunities I'm sure, I'm just not really aware of them.
Sometimes I get so frustrated with how difficult this profession is. I have to remember how much I love doing what I do, and that I wouldn't trade it for anything. Because once I get the job, it will be worth all the struggle! At least that's what people tell me....
November 3, 2009
need to write more often...
So I haven't been very good about writing in this blog...I meant to write almost every day but obviously that hasn't really happened. I've just been so busy lately....I am now full time at my job, so that means I'm at work from 8-4:30 every day, and I'm taking a tax prep course twice a week, plus teaching 2 students a week, plus playing in the music educators band. I haven't even had any time to go swim! Luckily things are starting to slow down, I don't have music educators band anymore until January, and soon the tax prep class will be over so I'll have my Monday and Thursday nights back.
So I've been extremely confused lately about auditions and stuff. There are just too many in the coming months. It took me forever to just buckle down and decide to do the Pershing's own audition. Too bad I made the decision 3 weeks past the application deadline!!! Oops. And in the same day I discovered that, I also discovered that I may not be eligible for the President's own Marine band. Some small mistakes that I have made in the past possibly may disqualify me for the security clearance required to work at the white house. Two hits in one day, which made me think, ok now what am I going to do about auditions? So about a week and a half ago I made the decision to take the West Virginia symphony audition on November 13th. So that gave me about 3 weeks to prepare this audition!! The repertoire isn't too bad, the only hairy excerpt is Daphnis. The 13th actually lands on a Friday (friday the 13th!!!), and I'm only taking that day off of work, so I've decided to drive down to West Virginia (its about 8 hours) right after I get off of work on Thursday. It might suck a lot, I will not get to my destination until after midnight. But I don't have to check in for my audition until 11:30, so I can sleep in a bit. I checked plane tickets...there really isn't anything that is under $400, which is slightly rediculous because of how close Charleston, WV is...whatever.
I think I'm excited about this audition. I haven't really had time to think about it, because I'm mostly like, holy crap I have to get Daphnis ready in 2 weeks!!, but this would be a great job to get. They pay for travel up to 1000 miles round trip!! I live 480 miles away from Charleston, so it would be perfect. So I hope I can do well.
This week I've gotta focus and really put clarinet first before anything else, which has been hard to do lately. I've just got to remind myself that all this hard work will pay off someday! At least working my 9-5 job really makes me motivated to practice and get a real job!
So I've been extremely confused lately about auditions and stuff. There are just too many in the coming months. It took me forever to just buckle down and decide to do the Pershing's own audition. Too bad I made the decision 3 weeks past the application deadline!!! Oops. And in the same day I discovered that, I also discovered that I may not be eligible for the President's own Marine band. Some small mistakes that I have made in the past possibly may disqualify me for the security clearance required to work at the white house. Two hits in one day, which made me think, ok now what am I going to do about auditions? So about a week and a half ago I made the decision to take the West Virginia symphony audition on November 13th. So that gave me about 3 weeks to prepare this audition!! The repertoire isn't too bad, the only hairy excerpt is Daphnis. The 13th actually lands on a Friday (friday the 13th!!!), and I'm only taking that day off of work, so I've decided to drive down to West Virginia (its about 8 hours) right after I get off of work on Thursday. It might suck a lot, I will not get to my destination until after midnight. But I don't have to check in for my audition until 11:30, so I can sleep in a bit. I checked plane tickets...there really isn't anything that is under $400, which is slightly rediculous because of how close Charleston, WV is...whatever.
I think I'm excited about this audition. I haven't really had time to think about it, because I'm mostly like, holy crap I have to get Daphnis ready in 2 weeks!!, but this would be a great job to get. They pay for travel up to 1000 miles round trip!! I live 480 miles away from Charleston, so it would be perfect. So I hope I can do well.
This week I've gotta focus and really put clarinet first before anything else, which has been hard to do lately. I've just got to remind myself that all this hard work will pay off someday! At least working my 9-5 job really makes me motivated to practice and get a real job!
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