Moved!

Hi all - Its official...I've moved my blog to wordpress.com!  You'll probably have to resubscribe and stuff to get my new posts.  My domain, sandyclarinet.com, will go directly to the new site, and so shall all my links on this site.

So enjoy!

-Sandy

My first week

This week was my first week at my band.  It was awesome!  I'm going to love it :)  It was a short week, because the band had liberty on Monday and Tuesday, so my official first day wasn't until Wednesday.  Basically, all I did all week was check in with people and practice.  That's it!  I'm not on any gigs for a week or two, so I get to spend most of my time practicing for awhile.  Pretty sweet deal if you ask me!  The band gave me a brand new Buffett Prestige to play for indoor gigs, and a really old (circa 1998) greenline R-13 outdoor gigs.  The greenline actually plays really well considering it looks like its been through hell and back.  The prestige is very nice, although it is brand new, and plays brand new.  I need to break it in a little.  At this point, the greenline plays a little better than the prestige!

Its always hard starting a new job, just because I don't know anyone.  Its always so awkward!  And the band is sooooo much more laid back than the school!  Everyone goes by first names now!  And I can't believe how much little time we spend at work.  Granted, I haven't started on gigs yet, but I have a feeling I'm going to have a lot of spare time on my hands!

In other news, Ben and I got a puppy!  Meet little Mojo :)

He's a chihuahua, and we got him from some friends of ours in Rochester.  He is going to be a great addition to our family!

I made it!

Well, its been a long five months, but I made it!  I am officially a military musician now.  I graduated from the armed forces music school on Friday and reported to my band in Norfolk.  I'm so excited to get started with my new career!

Some of the highlights from the last couple months include a master class with the President's Own Marine Band in which I got to play:

I also won student of the month at the school for September.  

That was pretty cool because I wasn't expecting anything like that.  The way it works is that you get nominated and then you have to go do a "board", where you sit down with senior enlisted (in this case the Command Master Chief and the senior enlisted leader of the Marine detachment) and they evaluate your military bearing and ask you questions about yourself.  I couldn't believe that I had gotten it out of everyone! I guess I'm not so bad at this military thing!

So Friday was the graduation, it felt weird!  I had been to several graduations before to play at and to attend, it felt weird that it was finally my turn.  Here's some pictures from the ceremony:

I also ended up scoring high enough on my final audition that I became instructor qualified!  I had to go through a "staff appraisal" in which I had to teach a mini lesson so that my teaching ability could be evaluated.  Thankfully, I passed!  So I am officially qualified to teach at the school.  We'll see if I ever end up back there.  I also scored high enough on everything to achieve early advancement, which means I don't have to take the exam to become an E-4, it will just automatically happen in 4-10 months.  Awesome!  It also means that I will be eligible to take the E-5 exam six months earlier!  

I'll try to be better about posting updates...I was just so busy at the school!  Now things should calm down a bit.  Hopefully :)

Pathway to normalcy

Wow I can't believe its been almost a month since my last blog post!  Time has been absolutely flying by.  I've been so busy this month, I've hardly had time to do anything!  The best thing that's happened since the last time I wrote was that Ben moved here to Norfolk and I moved off base to live with him!  Its been so nice, I actually feel like a 100% normal human being again.  The apartment we got isn't as nice as we probably would have wanted, but its a place, and considering the amount of time we had to find a place to live, I think we did pretty well.  The location is great (I can practically see the band hall from where we live - we're right outside of the gate), and its a great price.  We're just so used to living in our own house, its hard to transition to apartment life (especially when you're neighbors are super loud and have super loud kids!)  Good thing is, in a year if we want to move, we can (and we probably will!)

The only drawback right now is that I have a 20 minute commute in the morning.  Which isn't all that bad I guess, I'm just used to only driving 10 minutes to work or school (like in Rochester), or walking 5 minutes from the barracks to the school.  And the commute sucks when you have a watch/duty every other day!  That is the way it has been for the whole month of September since there is no Army class, so there are only Marines and Sailors to fill up the watch bill. 

For those of you who are confused by that...here's how it is: at the school, all the basic students have to stand watches either at the school telephone (day), the barracks telephone (night), or a roving barracks security (night).  They are only two hour shifts, but they can really suck if they are in the middle of the night.  Right now I've got it worked out with the watch bill coordinator (the person who does the schedule) so that I don't have to stand midnight-2am or 2am-4am watch...but all others I can be scheduled for.  For example this past week I had 10pm-midnight on tuesday night, and 4-6 on Friday morning at the barracks.  Friday morning I had to get up at 2:30am to be able to get ready and get to my watch on time!  And since morning muster is at 7:20, I just went and practiced after my watch.  I was sooooooo tired by the end of the day.  And I get to do it again 2 more times this week, woo!  Those watches were so much easier when I lived right upstairs!  But its worth it to live with Ben.  Honestly I don't think I should have to stand the barracks watches because I don't live at the barracks, but I don't make the rules I guess...  Luckily a new army class should be coming in the next couple weeks so I should only have watch once a week or so.

Anyways, other than standing the watch, I love my job!  Getting paid to practice?  OK!  And I do a lot of it.  I'm trying to learn as much as I can from my instructors here, especially from my clarinet instructor.  She is really good (she has a masters degree also) and definitely knows what she is talking about!  I've never played so many marches in my life, but its pretty fun.  Basically my day starts at around 6am - we are required to get an hour of practice time outside of school hours and I get it done before school starts so that I can just go home at the end of the day.  We muster at 7:20, then school officially begins at 7:30.  We have a "period" system, like in high school.  Periods 1-4 are in the morning, then we go to lunch, then we have 3 more periods in the afternoon.  After 7th period, we have what is called "service specific time" which means we do stuff with our respective services (navy, marines), usually PT (physical training - aka exercise).  Its a lot to do in one day, but I would never trade it for what I was doing before I joined the Navy.

So I officially have about 4 weeks left before I graduate from the school.  I'm trying to get all my academics done ASAP, but I'm also trying to take my time because I can possibly qualify for early advancement to E-4.  That means a pay raise without having to take the E-4 exam!  Its a difficult balance, but I'm managing.  I'm starting to run out of time though!  I'm super stressed out at the moment.  I just can't wait until a month from now.  Everyone says that its way easier being in the band than it is at the school.  I just hope they are right!

Natural disaster week!

Apparently in Virginia it was national disasters week because not only did we have a hurricane over the weekend, we also had an earthquake earlier in the week!  We also woke up to yucky smoke on Thursday morning from a wildfire that was burning south of us.  It truly looked apocalyptic!!

The earthquake was the first time I've ever felt something like that.  Last year there was an earthquake felt in Rochester, but I was at work in a very large building and I definitely didn't feel it at all.  It was weird, it just felt like the building was wobbling for a good 15 seconds.  It was not what I thought an earthquake should feel like!

And then there was Irene...hurricane Irene that is.  At first, the school of music was going to have us all evacuate to an army base up by Richmond, VA.  But then on Thursday the decision was made to "shelter in place" here in the barracks.  I was glad that we didn't have to go anywhere!  But a little scared because I've never been in a hurricane before.

So on Friday we ended up not having any classes, instead we helped to secure the music building for the hurricane.  It involved lots of sandbags and lots of plastic:

Photo credit: School of Music facebook page

Fun times!  We were done by 11am, so then we had the rest of the day off!  The rain started at around midnight on Friday night (I only know this because I had watch from midnight - 2am that night), and it didn't stop until after the storm passed on Sunday morning.  Basically we had wind and rain all day on Saturday, we even had a couple tornado warnings in the morning where we all had to go down to the bottom floor of the building that I live in.  But that was the most excitement that I experienced.  The wind got pretty bad when the hurricane actually got to us, but honestly, I slept through most of it!  We didn't even lose power.  Woke up Sunday morning to blue skies and sunshine.  It was such a beautiful day considering how it was 24 hours prior!  So the moral of the story...category 1 hurricane = no big deal.  Just stay inside!

So beside the hurricane/earthquake/fire, all is well.  I'm working really hard here!  I've been trying to go to school early (ahem, 6:30am!) to get a warm up in, and it really does help.  The past week I've been in a playing group for the first two periods of the day, so it helps to get some long tones in before I start.  And I haven't had that much time to practice during the day because my schedule is full of ensembles - I'm one of only two clarinetists here!  I've already had a performance with the "grad band" at graduation.  It was pretty scary, mostly because I am still learning all the movements that we have to do while marching.  Drill band is a constant stressor in my life right now, haha.  It is so much new information that I have to process and execute, and I'm not exactly the most coordinated person ever.  I still really suck at doing an about face (which I have to do to get out of the concert split formation during graduation performances!)

Basically, I'm pretty exhausted by the time evening muster comes around at 9:45pm.  But I want to make my experience worthwhile here, I want to get better!  I want that early advancement, which I can get if I do really well here at the school.  And of course I still want to be in a premiere band one day.

For my solo piece here at the school, I've decided to to A Set for Clarinet by Martino.  I'm looking forward to playing the piece, but I'm sure that I will want to kill myself at some point between now and my final audition, LOL!  Its just that type of piece.  But I've done difficult works like this in a limited amount of time (flashback to my Eastman MM recital and Dancing Solo!) so I know I can do it.  And I basically have more practice time than I know what to do with here!

In other news, Ben is moving down here this week!  Last weekend we actually found an apartment to live in, and it happens to be right outside the base gate that the band hall is just inside of.  We didn't even know that until after we had put a deposit down on the place!  So it worked out.  Its about 20 minutes away from Little Creek, but I think I can deal with that for 2 months (plus I'm probably going to be commuting at 6am or earlier, so traffic shouldn't be an issue).  I'm just excited that I get to move out of the barracks!

Its been about 6 weeks since I arrived here.  I can't believe how fast its going by!  I've almost been here for as long as I was at boot camp.  I hope that it keeps going by fast, I want to get to the band and start what I joined the Navy to do.  Just over 8 weeks left to go!

Whoa.

Whoa!  I can't believe its been four weeks since I arrived here from boot camp!  Its been quite a whirlwind since the last time I've blogged....

So I have been officially approved for acceleration at the school, which means I'll be graduating on October 28th.  I ended up having crazy fast turnaround time for approval apparently, it took only one day!  So now I'm on a self paced individual study program for my academics, and an accelerated schedule for my performance assessments.  I'm hoping to finish my academics by the end of September so that I can spend the last month focusing on my playing.

I also found out another very important piece of information!  I found out where I'm going to be stationed...drumroll please...I'll be part of the U.S. Fleet Forces Band in Norfolk, VA.  So that means I'll be staying right here in Virginia!  I will be living in the same area, because the Norfolk base is only 20 minutes away from where I am living now!  Definitely not how I had originally planned, but I think I'm OK with it.  I'm excited because they have an actual wind ensemble in addition to the ceremonial band (most of the Navy fleet bands only have a ceremonial band because there isn't enough players for a concert band).

So my days are filled with practicing, studying, cleaning, being on watch, and obsessing about my uniform (because its necessary!  They are super picky with us because we are the "face" of the Navy and we have to look gooooood.)  This past week, I just changed rooms in the barracks because my room was so messed up!  But it looks like I'll be moving out of the barracks in a few weeks anyway, because Ben's going to be moving down (since I'll be stationed in Norfolk) soon, so I'll get to live off base!  Being married in the military definitely has its perks.  He is coming to visit this coming weekend and I am so excited to see him!  But we may end up spending most of our weekend looking for a place to live.  I think I'm ok with that though :)

I'm back!

Well, I survived.  I’ve made it through Navy boot camp and the first two weeks of “A” school.  I never thought I would make it to this point, so it feels great.  It was quite an adventure, I met some great people, met some not so great people, and I learned a lot about myself.  Where shall I start?  Oh yes, at the very beginning…

I flew into Chicago O’hare at around 6pm on May 23^rd.  I was traveling with one other person, and we checked in with the USO, and we ended up sitting on the floor in an empty part of the airport lobby for around 4 hours (we had to wait for other people to arrive to fill up the busses).  I remember thinking how much that sucked at the time, but now that I look back it was definitely a preview of things to come!  The bus picked us up at around 10pm (I think…it was 10 weeks ago so it’s hard to remember!) and we embarked on our 45 minute journey from the airport to Great Lakes.

Once we got there we were greeted by RDCs (Recruit Division Commanders…Navy’s version of “drill sergeants”) yelling and cursing at us.  It was pretty shocking how they didn’t let anything hold them back with regards to insults…but I guess that’s how it works in any military boot camp!  I won’t bore you with details, but that night there was a lot of standing in lines for extended periods of time and also sitting and doing nothing at all for extended periods of time.  The latter was hardest because we had to stay awake all night…and if you got caught sleeping it was bad news!  It’s much harder to fall asleep when you are standing up.  Anyways, I ended up getting put into a special performing division…but the catch was that they were a week ahead so I had to catch up quickly!  A lot of rules I had to learn the hard way…which was getting yelled at when I did something wrong.  I already have a pretty thick skin, but it definitely got thicker those first couple weeks!  But it got better and better the more time passed.  I am glad that I got put in the performing division though; it gave me a chance to play at least once a week!  And it was a nice escape every Saturday.  It was also fun to perform at graduation!

Basically our days were filled with academic classes, PT (physical training), other training, inspections, and a lot of standing around doing nothing.  I learned that standing is a skill that is definitely learned in boot camp!  I also fell asleep multiple times standing up.  Yes it is possible!  You think that’s bad, someone in my division told me that they fell asleep while we were marching once, LOL!  We got 8 hours to sleep every night, but we also had to stand watches during the night (2 hour shifts – I didn’t have it every night, but definitely at least once a week I was standing a night watch), and iron for 30 minutes during light’s out (we had a nightly schedule that rotated).  So sleep sometimes was intermittent…it was rare that I actually got a full 8 hours of sleep.

Some of the cool things that I got to do during boot camp were shoot a 9mm pistol, shoot a shotgun, get tear gassed (not as bad as they say!), and learn how to fight fires.  Some of the things that sucked were getting 8 shots in the arms and one in the bootie (ouch!), showering everyday with 40 other females, getting called “female” all the time, getting tear gassed (it was cool after the fact, but still sucked real bad at the time!), the multiple trips to the dentist (I had to get quite a few fillings!), and knowing that if you even breathed wrong you were going to get yelled at or “IT-ed” (which means “intensive training”…I’ll let you use your imagination on that one).  Oh yes and I got really sick during 4th of July weekend.  THAT was fun.

I also won the Academic Award at boot camp, which meant I scored really high on the written exams.  I didn’t try that hard so it surprised me when I found out that I won.  I also didn’t realize how big of a deal it was!  At graduation I had to salute the Commanding Officer and shake hands with three other people.  After the graduation ceremony I was awarded a certificate and a coin and got to talk with the CO, XO, and the Command Master Chief of RTC (Recruit Training Command), among others!  It was really cool.  Only 5 of us out of 500 got that privilege!  Here's some pictures that I scrounged up from the interwebs:

In formation to receive our awards (can you spot me?)

Receiving my award certificate from Command Master Chief Dodd

Shaking hands with the Ambassador to Canada

Playing in the band at graduation!

Now I’m here at my “A” School, Navy School of Music.  The first week was really hard, mostly adjusting to a completely different life that what boot camp is.  It is way more relaxed here.  I didn’t realize that I had put up such a guard during the previous 8 weeks until I got back out into the real world, it was really hard to bring that down and let myself be vulnerable again.  This past weekend we entered “phase 2” which means we can wear civilian clothes and go off base.  I finally felt normal again for the first time in 10 weeks!  

The school here is mostly made up of Marines, they outnumber us sailors by a lot.  The Army is here too, but they have their own separate program.  The first week was tough also because I had to learn all the Marine ranks (and they are super picky about them!) and also the Army ranks so that we can greet the senior enlisted personnel when we see them in the hallway.  Also, we didn’t get to start classes right away, so we were put on what is called “X-Division”, which basically means you have to clean and do all the crappy work that nobody else wants to do.  Luckily most days there wasn’t much to do so we just got to practice most of the time.  But it was still annoying having to muster 2 times a day!

This week is our “class up” week, where we finally start classes, take our diagnostic exams, etc.  Yesterday I had both the written and ear training exams, and my incoming audition. I did pretty well on my incoming audition, I scored beyond what is needed to graduate from the school, which means that I could accelerate through the program if I passed the written and ear training exams.   I’ve been studying pretty hard the last two weeks so I did really well on the written exam, and OK on the ear training test.  It was enough to have them recommend me for acceleration!  I still have to get approved by the upper levels, though, but it shouldn’t be a problem.

So that’s it for now!  I’m still getting used to everything here, and even still getting used to being in the military.  I’m still getting used to the idea that I’m not a civilian anymore.  I noticed a big difference in how people treated me while I was traveling (wearing my dress whites) to Virginia.  The uniform really does command respect!  It was strange…I’m used to the normal rudeness from stressed travelers, but I got none of that.  Sometimes I still pinch myself, thinking that this is a dream or something.  I’m a real life sailor in the Navy, and I’m getting paid to do what I love most!  How cool is that?

Finally!

Finally!  The day that I have been waiting for for over 8 months is almost here.  I can't believe its been that long! Today is my last full day here, because tomorrow I leave Rochester, and Monday I fly out to Chicago, then get bussed to Navy RTC.  I'm so excited to get this process started, but mostly excited to get it over with!   The last couple weeks have been quite an emotional whirlwind, it seems like there are too many goodbyes, and I haven't even made the most important (and hardest) one, saying goodbye to Ben.  I almost feel like I don't have enough left to get through that!  There is a quote that I saw on facebook about a week ago from an Eastman friend:

‎"How lucky I am to have something that makes saying goodbye so hard." -Carol Sobieski

This is exactly how I am feeling.  Family, friends, colleagues, students.  They were all so hard to say goodbye to!  I was a sobbing mess on my last day of work.  I didn't realize how much those people truly meant to me!

The last time I took on a crazy challenge like this was when I moved to Rochester to come to Eastman.  The only difference then is that I had Ben with me every step of the way.  This time, I'm truly on my own.  That's what I'm anxious about!  Not boot camp itself, but being able to do it on my own two feet without a shoulder to cry on when things get super hard.  

I'm sure I'll blink and the next thing I know it will be 8 weeks from now and I will be writing a blog about my experiences.  Everyone says it goes by fast, and I'll be especially busy because I'm going to be in the "900" division, which is the performing division...so I'll get to play my instrument (well not mine, but whatever hunk o' junk they give me to play LOL) and play for graduations and other ceremonies.  

So that's it!  I'm giving Ben full access to my blog and my twitter account in hopes that he will update it once in awhile while I'm away.  I'm deactivating my facebook for now, but keep checking back here and on twitter.  Oh and please don't email me!  I'm anticipating a large amount of emails when I get back and I'm just going to delete all of them, because there is no way that I'm going to sort through all of that madness.  So if you need something, email me in August!  

I hope to come out of this experience and better and more awesome me.  And I think know I will.  

Catch you on the flipside!

Colorado trip

I'm back from my trip to Colorado last week.  It was great!  I brought my clarinet, but I ended up not playing at all.  Its ok though!  It really isn't a priority for me right now.  I'm going to get plenty of playing in the next four years! (or 20!)

It felt really good to be home, especially right before a such a life change!  It kind of helped me to clear my head a little bit.  Thin air and good mexican food will do that ;-)  Some highlights of the week:

Fun 50's themed party that my sister took me to on Sunday night.  She found this really cute dress for me to wear, since I didn't bring anything! 

Eating at 2 of 3 of the Man vs. Food places.  Cherry Cricket - best burger I've probably ever had (I had cream cheese and jalapenos on mine - Ben had bacon, peanut butter, and smoked cheddar).  Jack n' Grill - super delicious!  Green chile was soooooooo good.  But I opted out of the 7 pound breakfast burrito that was on the show, haha.

We also made our way to the Stranahan's Colorado Whisky distillery.  Ben's become somewhat of a whiskey snob, and he really loves their whisky!  The tour was very cool, and we got to sample some whisky of course!

Also, the moment I have been dreading for months...I cut my hair for the Navy.  I totally cried, I definitely was not ready to part with something so vital to my identity.  Here's a pic with my hairdresser, Bekkie, my hair, and we're looking sad (because I was!):

Unfortunately, my hair isn't quite short enough, so I'm probably going to have to have it chopped again.  But I think this was enough on my poor soul for now. 

On Saturday my mom, Ben, and I ran a 5k.  My friend's mom, Jean, also joined in, but she walked the race.  My sister made some great t-shirts for us, they were pink with a stencil on the back with my face in a navy hat and the words, "Sailor Sandy Support" (of course mine said only "Sailor Sandy).  It was super fun, and I got a great time, 27:17.  My mom also got a great time, getting in under 30 minutes.  The thin air got to me a little at the end though, was feeling like death for the last half mile or so!  But I made it.  I think I want to come back next May and do the Colorado half marathon next year...or marathon....maybe.  We'll see what the next year brings!

After the race, it was party time at my parent's house!  It was a great opportunity to see everyone, and had some great fun too.  I was sad I didn't get to see everyone that I wanted to, but we only had so much time.

Overall, the trip was exactly what I needed.  Now to get focused, take care of business for the next two weeks and then I'm off!  I'm nervous, anxious, and excited all at the same time.  But the closer it gets, the more focused and excited I become.  The first 8 weeks are going to be the toughest, but after that I get to play my clarinet for a living, and be paid for it!

...12 days!

4 weeks left :-)

Soooo...less than four weeks until I leave for the Navy!  I really cannot believe it is almost here already.  When I first found out when my ship date was, I was so depressed, because the month of May felt like an eternity away.  But I had a feeling that it would go by fairly fast, and boy it did! 

Anyway, since the Ad Hoc concert a couple weeks ago, I have barely touched my instrument. I've kind of lost all motivation when it comes to playing...mostly because I have nothing coming up to practice for.  As I have mentioned in previous posts, it helps me to have something coming up to get me in the practice room.  Right now I feel like anything I do now is kind of pointless, just because I'm going to have a 8 week hiatus from practicing regularly.  I think I'll be able to play in boot camp a little bit - there is a special "performing" division and they play for the graduation ceremony and also for community events.  But I've also been told that there is no such thing, so I'm not really sure what to expect.  It will sure suck a lot to go 8-9 weeks without playing clarinet. 

Despite this, I'm going to try to practice 3 times a week until I leave, at least.  Just cuz I like playing, and I might not be able to play for awhile!  I'm going to CO next week, and I do plan on bringing my instrument, as futile as it may seem.  Haha.  We will see if I actually play!  Maybe I'll just bring my Bb...

I do have a couple non musical goals for the next four weeks though...well ok, maybe just one.  And its pretty dumb, actually.  I want to beat Final Fantasy 13!  The Easter bunny brought me a shiny new pink PS3 controller, so I was motivated to start playing again.  I tried to start it again last night after a 7 month hiatus...and if you know how RPGs are, you probably know that is very difficult.  I had no clue what I was doing.  So I started over, even though I was almost 60 hours into my last game.  And I really don't want to start over again, so I HAVE to finish this time.  Even if it means I spend every waking minute playing for the next four weeks.  That is OK!

Wow...26 days!

A couple great articles...

Read this before reading my post...

I recently came across this article and I wanted to share with all my musician friends.  I feel like this author nailed it right on the head.  So many teachers nowadays focus on getting the student to practice in a quantitative way, instead of a qualitative way.  Its fine if you practice six hours, but what was accomplished?  That is the question we should be asking ourselves as musicians.

As I recall, back in 2006, right after I graduated from CSU, I was literally practicing 6 hours a day to prepare for my grad school auditions.  But I might as well not have practiced at all.  Looking back, "practicing" is not the correct word.  I would say I "played" 6 hours a day.  I had no comprehension of what the word "practice" meant, or how to even practice efficiently/correctly.  I wish that this book/website had been in existence back then!  It would have saved me a lot of trouble.  I was so focused on how much I practiced, but not on how much I got done in that practice session.  In essence, I was "mindlessly practicing" for 6 hours per day.  And it showed in the end, out of 4 schools I auditioned for, I only was accepted at one.  I cried at half of the auditions because I truly realized how underprepared I was!  I'm pretty sure the only reason I got accepted at the school I did (DU) is because I had studied with the teacher in the past and she knew me.  It was at DU that I learned how to practice well.  And only since I've been out of school that I have truly discovered the meaning of efficient practice.  Imagine what I could get done if I practiced 4 hours a day now, knowing what I know!!

This article links to another one that also piqued my interest.  Performance anxiety is something that I have been fighting with for a long time.  If you are familiar with my blog, you know that I tend to sabotage myself 90% of the time during auditions.  I hate it, and its so frustrating because I can't seem to shake off my anxiety. I really feel that it has kept me from winning auditions, or at least getting past the prelim round.  In all my years, I've never thought of making those nervous feelings into something positive.  I've always focused on making them go away, hence transforming those feelings into negative energy.  I love the idea of centering, and  transitioning thoughts from the left brain to the right brain.  Makes so much sense!!

I have to credit howtopractice.com for the link to the first article (which obviously led to the other!).  Check out the other links that are posted, they are very informative and interesting!

...30 days!  Getting so close!

Copland and mental sabotage

Over the past couple weeks I've been preparing for the latest Ad Hoc concert this past Saturday in which I'm played in Copland's The Tenderland Suite.  I remember while I was in my undergrad at CSU, the opera department actually did the full production of this opera, and although I did not play in the pit, I remember how much the clarinet player (who was a friend of mine) who did play in the pit bitched about how ridiculous the part was.  Um, and rightfully so if its anything like this suite!  Most of it is actually pretty easy (minus the double high B that is unison with the flute in the first section!!  Ack!), but the "hoe down" section was pretty gnarly if you ask me!  Crazy key changes all over the place, fast articulation, and high range really makes me sweat!  Luckily, a lot of it was doubled with flute and/or violins so I was able to fake some of it that I just didn't have time to get to tempo.

Whoever had this rental part before me decided to take all of the sections that are high up in the range and bring them down the octave, and proceeded to write it all out and tape it over the printed part.  Agh, so annoying!  I had to (carefully) rip out all those so that I could play it as written.  Yes, it is hard to play as written, but certainly not impossible.  Plus, taking certain passages down actually takes away some of the interesting timbres that are created with the flute!  For example, there is a passage where the flute and I are in thirds up really high (I'm on a double high written A#/sounding G# and flute is on a double high B) and it gives this crazy shimmer effect that is really awesome.  If I take my A# down, that effect is lost.  Its pretty clear that Copland knew what he was doing!  But I digress...

The concert went really well.  Luckily, the space that we performed in is VERY forgiving when it comes to intonation and little blunders.  It is a huge church, and the sound bounces around so much before it gets to the audience that most of the little flaws melts away and all you hear is a nice uniform(ish) sound.

Lately I've been trying to practice an hour or two, 3-4 nights a week...which compared to my Eastman days is barely anything!  Aaaand this week I haven't practiced at all!  But I don't have much motivation for it right now.  When I do practice, I'm doing lots of scales and working out of the Rose 32 etude book.  Kinda fun revisiting those old gems!  They really are timeless.  Mostly I've been focusing on not being afraid of fast technical passages...I think it is working!  I think I've discovered that my perceived lack of technical ability is really my own brain getting in the way.

I'm in the purple shirt (#192)

Of note in my non-musical life, couple weekends back I participated in my first long distance race, a 15k.  It was a beautiful day (well, for Rochester in early April anyway!), the course was super hilly, and I finished with a time of 88 minutes (my goal was 90 minutes).  That's a pace of about 9:30 per mile!  That is very fast considering I never ran seriously before 10 months ago!  It was super hard, but super fun.  I think that its easy for musicians to become athletes, and vice versa - we have to have the same determination, focus, and stamina!  Whether it be running a race or performing a recital, I feel like it takes the same amount of mental focus.  Even though I think I'm much more relaxed when it comes to athletic events because I do them for the fun of it - and I don't really care what the outcome is.  *Epiphany* Maybe I should start thinking of playing clarinet "for the fun of it", even though it is my career.  It might help me not be so anxious when it comes to high pressure situations.

Meh.

OMG 36 days!

Ch-ch-ch-changes!

Lately I have begun to realize that in the next few months my life is about to change drastically...and I'm having a ton of emotions because of it.  I've fallen into the comfortable routine of going to work all day, then coming home and practicing.  Not that I particularly like that routine...there's just a certain comfort level that comes with it (I'm my father's daughter, that's for sure - and he is definitely a creature of habit.)

I am feeling excited and happy about what is to come, because I will finally be getting to do what I love, which is playing clarinet full time.  I am also hoping I will have more time to teach, which is also something I love to do.  I miss being able to commit to music full time and fully flex my creative muscles, which has made the last two years (almost...!) really tough to get through.

But at the same time, I am feeling some sadness.  The other night, I was laying down to go to sleep and I thought about how hard it is going to be to say good bye to Ben.  I imagined how it I would feel when the moment comes and I got completely washed up in a sadness that I haven't felt for a long time.  Even writing this I'm getting choked up about it.  I truly realized at that moment how much I have become dependent on him to be there by my side and I think I'm a little scared that I will have to go through the first part of this journey completely on my own!  Every time I think about it, I feel a tug (or more like, a yank) on my heart.  It sucks.

I am also a little (but only a little!) sad about leaving Rochester.  I have spent the last 3.5 years here, and it has become part of my identity whether I like it or not.  Its the place that Ben and I officially first lived together and the first few years of our marriage was spent here, and we've really come into our own as a couple here.  I also love our neighborhood (but maybe not our house so much), Oakland Street is definitely the cutest street in Rochester!  I don't think we'll ever live in another place like it.  I will also miss Wegmans.  I know, I know, how silly that I like a grocery store chain this much.  But I do!  LOL.  Visit one and you will agree.

I will also miss the people that I have met here, including all the people that I work with and that Ben works with.  The chance that Ben and I will come back to Rochester in the near future is pretty slim, considering we have no family ties to the area, so it makes saying goodbye to everyone even more difficult.  I'm sure we'll be back someday...but whether it is 1 year or 10 years, I don't know.

I am also sad to leave my clarinet students.  Especially one, whom I've taught for almost two years now.  As many teachers will probably agree, there's no avoiding becoming attached to your students!  I have established a great relationship with my other student (the one that I just began teaching, with the German clarinet) and I feel I have so much more to teach her and not enough time.  I wish I could see her progress and meet her goals, but I know that won't be possible in the time we have left together.  My only hope is that I can get her to a teacher that will help her fulfill them!

With all that said, I am ready to leave this damn town.  The list of things I will miss about Rochester is very short compared with things I will NOT miss, such as the weather, the crime, the poor quality of the local radio/TV, bad commercials, etc.  It is funny, while I was a student at Eastman, Ben used to complain about how crappy this town is constantly...and I just didn't think it was that bad.  I soon realized that it was because I was in the "Eastman bubble" - after I graduated and started working at the hospital, I started to see how unhappy I am living and how much I miss Colorado.  Eastman was so awesome that I was blind to see what was truly around me!

Granted, I will not live in Colorado again for a very long time, if ever.  But if Ben and I have learned anything about living on the east coast, its that we are true "westerners" and we will be happiest living west of the Mississippi.  Hopefully, the Navy will let us do that!

Its almost overwhelming...I'm feeling so many different emotions about this new chapter in my life.  But I know I am strong and I will get through it!  And I have to remember that although changes may be hard, but in the end, there's nothing better.

...55 days left!

Great article on practice habits

This is a great article about what attributes a great musician has when they practice from The Musician's Way Blog.

http://musiciansway.com/blog/?p=4586

What I love about this article is the lists of "deep learner" attributes vs. the "shallow learner" attributes.  Mr. Klickstien nails it on the head for me, and explains it better than I ever could.  But I was thinking that it might be beneficial to abbreviate each list so that they can be posted on a music stand while a student practices (as it is right now, its a bit too wordy for that purpose).  Maybe something like a "practice do's and don't's" list:

This is what I came up with:

Do:

• Set goals
• Isolate problems
• Be aware
• Pay attention to repetition
• Listen to yourself
• Strive for consistent excellence
• Relax and channel anxiety in a positive way

Don't:

• Practice without a purpose
• "Play" through music
• Get distracted
• Repeat sections ad nauseum
• Listen inconsistently or poorly
• Let things slide
• Let performance give you negative anxiety

I know I have been a culprit of one or two things on the "don't" list recently, and the last one is especially hard.  If you read my last post, I wish I had this list when I was in my undergrad program.  Looking back, I was hitting more of the "don'ts" than I was the "dos"!  But I honestly didn't know any better.  Makes me sad, because I feel like I lost a lot back then because I didn't have the proper guidance.  This is why I try to instill good practice habits in my younger students.  They may hate it now, but I know they will thank me for it later in life!

In other news...exactly 9 weeks from yesterday until I leave!  Its getting so close that now I'm having some anxiety about it.  I get the butterflies in my stomach every time I think about it.  Can't tell if its excitement or nervousness...or both.  Probably both.  I can't believe its almost here!

Technique: its mental, too.

Lately I have been thinking: what makes a virtuoso player, well, virtuoso?  Talent?  Hard work?  Natural physical ability?  Crazy fingers?  This question is always on my mind, because technique is something that I have struggled with for nearly my entire musical career..  While I was at Eastman, I often felt like I had to work significantly harder on it than my peers.  Unfortunately, I'm pretty sure this is because I didn't have a strong technical foundation when I was younger - I took only about a year of lessons in high school, and even then I barely practiced.  Actually, I was the student that I hate having now - always coming to my lessons not prepared.  But I definitely had a natural ability over most of the other kids in band because I was at the top of the pack, while putting in minimal effort (albeit it was a rather mediocre pack, LOL!).

That all changed when I got to college - all of the sudden I was thrown into weekly lessons where I was actually accountable for my preparedness (grades).  So I finally practiced on a consistent level!  While I was doing my masters degree at Eastman I was absolutely amazed with the work ethic of some of the freshman kids.  I was definitely not like that when I was a freshman (I believe I even ditched a lesson or two...)  Anyways, fast forward a couple years - I became involved in an orchestra that is no longer in existence.  But I ended up playing with some really good players...really good players, and I truly realized how out of my league I was.  If I was to make this a career, I had a very long way to go.  I actually had a slight identity crisis...I even considered changing majors.  Good thing I didn't.

I didn't truly get into major technical practicing (scales, scalebooks, etc.) until I started lessons with Abby.  I took lessons with her over the summer in 2005 to get ready for my senior recital in the fall (Dr. Lawson didn't teach over the summer).  At my first lesson, she told me to get the Baermann Volume 3.  We ended up working on that plus Rose 32 for the majority of the summer!  I immediately felt the impact of working through these books.  I had done Rose 32 for years, but not the way I did with her!  From that summer forward, I realized the how important scales and technical exercises were...and I have done them on a daily basis since.

Anyway, fast forward (again) 5 almost 6 years (!!) to now.  I still feel like technique is a struggle even though I've done a milliondy different scales/exercises on a daily basis.  I have been thinking...is there more here that just physical finger technique?  Hmmm...my thoughts went to my teaching - one of my students has issues reading music while she plays.  Its not about recognizing notes/rhythms, its about paying attention to what's on the page.  When she focuses and reads the music and looks ahead to what's coming she can play almost anything.  She surprises me (and herself!) often.  The problem is that she hardly ever is 100% focused.  Its only when I remind her to look ahead that she actually plays accurately.  It doesn't make a difference if it is something she is familiar with or something we are sight-reading.  Our most recent lesson, I discovered that she also mentally sabotaging herself - I asked her to try to play a piece we were working on at a tempo well beyond where she had practiced.  She looked at me and said "I can't do it that fast!"  I told her to forget about what she thinks she can/can't do and just play it (not try - just do).  I told her to keep looking ahead and play it like she's seeing it for the first time.  Guess what - she played it near perfectly at a tempo much beyond what she thought she could do.  Driving home that day, I realized I need to take my own advice!  I often don't look ahead while reading music (which may be why I'm not as good at sight reading as I'd like to be), and I also often mentally defeat myself before a technical passage.  I need to ask myself to do the same that I'm asking my student - to let go.  Ding!  Light bulb!

In light of this new revelation (and since I have nothing else to practice!), I have been working on a lot out of the Didier Scale book (volume 1)  I got this book a few years ago at the request of a teacher that I took Eb lessons with and we never used it (which annoyed me a little, the book cost $50 and was pretty hard to find!).  Basically, it goes through all the keys in different patterns such as scales in 3rds, 4ths, 5ths, 6ths, 7ths, and octaves.  It also has V7 chords and vii7 in each key.  Also some crazy arpeggiations of the tonic (or as my sister would say, crasy).  Needless to say, its very challenging to play and to read - especially when the leaps are more than a 5th!.  I do one key per day, playing through them at eighth note = 80, and then again at quarter note = 80.  I use the faster tempo to practice "reading ahead".  I try to aim for perfection through the practice of reading the music, not by sheer repetition.  I am also keeping things fun by doing Rose etudes, a slow one for musicality and endurance, and a fast one pushing the speed to uncomfortable level and trying to read ahead better.  So far, I think it is helping.

Till next time...
and oh yeah, 66 days left!

Videos

Took some time tonight to do some uploading of the videos from my recital...so here's the Sutermeister and the Poulenc.  That's all I got so far because my computer is slow!

Enjoy!

German system...oh my!

Ok, so yeah. I have barely touched my clarinets since my last post. I’ve gotten a real bad case of the lazies the past couple weeks. Probably the only productive thing I’ve done in the last two weeks is go to the gym!  Oh and I’ve been playing Mario Bros Wii. Man, that game is hard! But that’s another and completely unrelated matter…

I think I probably need to readjust my plan.  Obviously only practicing when I want to may not be the best idea, apparently television and video games are much more enticing than being in the practice room. I am very uncomfortable of the idea of not playing at all for the next 5 months...so maybe I should strive for a minimum amount of playing each week. I'm going to start trying to get into the practice room for at least an hour at least 3 times a week. Also, I'm finding that the reason I don't want to practice may be because of my warm up routine - I've been doing the same thing for almost a year now and I am probably getting bored.  Its a good system, but if not if I dread doing it!  Last night I tried a new routine, that is much shorter and with the aim to maintain, not necessarily to get better.  And I've got some fun recording projects I want to do...involves getting my flute chops back!  I can focus on getting better at clarinet once I'm out of boot camp.  



Oehler (German) system clarinet key setup

In other news (and the subject of this blog entry), I recently started lessons with a new beginner student. She is an adult who used to play when she was younger and wants to pick it up again. To my surprise, at our first lesson, she pulls out a GERMAN CLARINET! Oh geez, I've never even seen one of these instruments in the flesh and now I have to teach it! She grew up in Germany, and it was the instrument that she had played when she was a kid.  I really didn't want to tell her to get a new instrument, so I needed to suck it up and do some learning myself!  Luckily, we were starting from the very beginning - she couldn't remember how to play, so I didn't have to worry about teaching fingerings the first day (we only worked on tone production).  But I spent the next week scouring the internet for Oehler fingering charts. I found a great resource for fingering charts for all clarinets (Albert, Oehler, and Boehm systems) here.

A Boehm (French)
System clarinet
 (for comparison)

At our second lesson, armed with a fingering chart, we started with a small scale from C4 to G4...except I couldn't figure out the F.  On a french system (Boehm) it is played with just the thumb (not shown on the pictures I included), but on her instrument (according the the fingering chart) it is played with the thumb and the middle finger.  But it sounded like an F#.  WTF.  I checked and double checked the fingering chart.  Checked and double checked the seal on the instrument, everything was fine!  Her instrument does not have the key that is between the top two finger holes, I thought that maybe this had something to do with the weird pitch - because the alternate fingering for F uses this key.  I told her to practice using F# (which is thumb - it is an F on a French Boehm system) just so she could get used to making sound and practice her finger coordination.  I said I would research her instrument and see if there was something different about it - it looked pretty old so I figured maybe the fingering system was a bit different..  I wrote down all of the identifying markers of her instrument including the serial number.  Here's what I found out: her instrument is made by F. Arthur Uebel (check out the website here - but be aware that it is all in German), which is a pretty well known German clarinet maker, although I hear that the newer instruments are not of the same quality of the older ones.  I discovered that the serial number gives the model number, the year it was made (1975) and the product number.  I looked at pictures of the specific model online, and everything was the same except for that missing key!  I was still pretty stumped, because everything I was finding told me that it was a normal Oehler instrument (except for the missing key).  An unrelated but very unique thing about the instrument is that its stamped with "DDR".  My student told me that "DDR" means "East Germany".  Cool!  Most of the clarinets I researched on the internet had "GDR" stamped on it (which is "regular" Germany, I guess).

Anyway, our third lesson was a breakthrough.  I had brought my Yamaha clarinet just in case we couldn't get her pitch issues resolved...but I didn't even need to take it out!  All of the sudden, she was matching my pitch and her F sounded like my F!  I was so relieved.  I did not take into consideration that the pitch difficulties could be a result of her not being used to playing!  After a week of steady practice, all the problems from before were gone.  Yay!  We even played some duets which we were not able to do before (we were so far apart in pitch the week before!), and she seemed to enjoy it that a lot.

We're now almost a month into lessons, and she's progressing very rapidly.  Last lesson, we ventured into the pinky keys (playing low F) - which is farther than I anticipated her being at this point.  I attribute that to her commitment to practicing (she says she tries to play every day), and the fact that she had taken lessons when she was younger.  She told me at our last lesson that she's having fun playing now, because she has the choice of playing.  When she was young, her parents forced her into it (she said she didn't even get to choose the clarinet!), which probably led to the fact that she quit and never looked back.  I'm super excited to be teaching her and introducing her back into the world of clarinet, and it is extremely educational for me too!  I think I'm having as much fun as she is.  I'm kind of sad that our time together will be brief, since I'm leaving for Navy in 3 months.


Speaking of...my countdown has finally gone under 100 days!  95 days to go as of today...I'm getting excited, I'm so ready to do this!

Last week vs. this week

Woo!  Clarinet rocks!

Not sure what happened between last week and this week, but I am so not motivated.  Last week, I got back from DC, I had this crazy, unexplainable drive to get better at clarinet, and I was even back in the practice room 2 days after the audition.  I had a good few days of nice, solid practice.  It was great!

This week has been a different story.  For some reason, I haven't been motivated to do anything!  I just want to lay around and take a nap.  And its not just with practicing clarinet - I'm feeling it in all aspects of my life.  I think its the weather and the lack of sunshine/warmness.  Or something like that.  I tried to practice Monday and Tuesday of this week, but ultimately didn't enjoy any minute of it, either day.  I managed to get in an hour yesterday of reed working, but that was it.  Today, I ask myself, why am I stressing about this?  I don't have anything to prepare for, and whatever endurance I maintain/obtain in the next three months is going to go completely out the window in May when I am forced to go without my instrument for two months during boot camp.  That is the longest I will have ever gone without playing, EVER!  (well besides my pre-clarinet days)  The longest so far is just a month during the weeks before and after my wedding.

So my logic is, if I don't have anything to practice for, why even bother forcing myself to practice when I so clearly do not want to?  So this is how its going to be: I'm only going to practice when I feel like it.  I have already passed my audition, and I'm sure everyone totally sucks when they get to the music school.  What more do I need to do?  Right now I need to focus on getting ready for the Navy and boot camp.  Oh and I also set a goal of doing a half marathon before I go.  Yeah, I'm crazy, but whatever.

Anyway, on that note, I'm going to go be lazy and play video games for the rest of the night.  Peace out!

Navy Band audition

I've been kind of avoiding writing a blog about my audition on Monday, but I have come to the conclusion the few people who read my blog are probably waiting to hear details about it!  The experience was...normal.  It was a pretty standard audition, and I played well.  Now, I pride myself in having a thick skin when it comes to auditioning - there is a lot of rejection involved with pursuing a musical career.  Unfortunately, my emotional reaction to this audition was far worse than usual.  Normally when I don't advance, I'm sad the day of, and then by the next day I'm totally over it.  But its Thursday, and I still don't feel over it.  In fact, I almost started crying yesterday when I was telling a co-worker about the audition.  WTF?  I think the hype leading up to the audition directly affected how I reacted to the bad outcome.  To date, I have taken...1...2...*counting on fingers*...15 auditions for various orchestras/military bands - I think this is the first one where my goal 100% was to win the job (as opposed to just going for the experience).  I knew I wouldn't be happy with anything but that at the end.  I don't think I've ever taken an audition so seriously and worked so hard for it, and I was certainly the most prepared I've ever been.

Anyway, the first round excerpts consisted of Mozart Expo, Gounoud ballet, Beethoven 4, and the first two strains of the Fillmore march.  I played everything pretty well, and they actually let me go through all the excerpts.  Last time I auditioned for the Navy Band they didn't let be go through the prelim list.  They did cut me off after measure 98 in the Mozart, but I think that was for time purposes, not necessarily because they thought I sucked.  Based on my observations, and the reaction of the proctor, I really thought they were going to let me through to the next round.  But...they didn't.

After thinking about it for a couple days, I think the reason that I didn't get advanced is that my playing wasn't 100% perfection.  I let my nerves get the best of me (as usual), and I did have a couple bobbles here and there.  Very minor, but noticeable enough.  Also, I wasn't 100% satisfied with my reed.  I think the combination of my nerves and a less than perfect reed was what kept me from advancing.  I warmed up next to the girl who I am pretty sure won the audition, and she sounded amazing.  I know I can sound like that, but I didn't when it counted, unfortunately.  I also had to remind myself that I was competing against people who have time to practice 4-6 hours a day.  Not that I want make that an excuse, but it is a fact that I simply don't have that sort of time.  But based on what I heard in the warm up room, I think I was still near the top of the pack, which is encouraging.  There were quite a few honkers!

It was frustrating to know that I got cut, because I had worked so hard.  In the moment, I felt like all my hard work was for nothing!  Of course I realize now that it wasn't for nothing - I did learned a lot in this audition.  I truly realized how important it was to have a great reed, and also that I need to do something about my nerves!  I also am a firm believer in things happening for a reason, and I am on my way to accepting that it just wasn't my time yet.  Maybe I'm not ready to be in such a prestigious ensemble.  I'll still be able to audition next time they have an opening available!  The only difference is that I will be in uniform.

So what's next for me?  Not much.  I think I'm going to go back to basics and work on scale technique and my sound for a few months before I leave for boot camp.  Yesterday I actually practiced for two hours!  Not because I felt like I had to, but because I truly wanted to!  I actually had other things that I needed to do, so I had to stop myself - I probably could have gone on for another two hours.  I worked on a Rose etude, some Bach, and also worked a little bit on Libby Larsen Dancing solo.  It was so fun!  Reminded me why I love playing clarinet!  My goal for the next few months is to improve my sound and air with lyrical music and etudes.  Also, I'm going to try to devote more time to reed working.  I'm going to start with an hour per week, and see if that helps my sound at all.

The moral of the story is that it just wasn't my time yet.  Yes, the prospect of being an E-6 out of boot camp was so tantalizing, but I'm not sure that I'm ready to be in the ensemble yet.  Maybe by the time they have another opening I will be, and it will be my day.

clarification

I just wanted to take a moment to clarify what my audition is for on Monday...a lot of people are asking me because I am already in the Navy.   I am actually auditioning for a separate, premiere ensemble that is based out of Washington, DC.  Here is the difference:

The program I auditioned and got accepted into, and now waiting to start is the Navy Music Program.  The Navy Music Program is basically accepting any musician that is qualified enough to pass the audition, and there doesn't need to be a specific spot open for that instrument.  The audition consists of some loose guidelines, but basically the applicant can play pretty much whatever they want, and the time/place of the audition is flexible.  After a successful audition, the musician is then processed and enlists just like any other future sailor as an E-1 (no college experience), E-2 (some college), or E-3 (college degree - that's me).  That person ships off to boot camp for 8 weeks, and after that gets to go to "A" school for 3-6 months.  Its not until this is completed that they get assigned to a band - there are 11 different fleet bands that a Navy musician can be assigned to (including 3 that are abroad!).  And that person is subject to being assigned to a different band every 3-4 years, depending on the needs of the Navy.  Still a great opportunity!  But here's something that's even better...

The audition I'm taking on Monday is for the U.S. Navy Band.  You can only get into this ensemble if you win a posted audition, which doesn't happen unless there is a spot available.  The time of the audition is non-negotiable, and it usually takes place at the Washington Navy Yard in DC, which is also non-negotiable (no sending CDs - and you have to pay your own travel expenses).  The repertoire is also specifically provided, usually a solo and then a series of excerpts taken from orchestral and band repertoire.  They will usually only select as many players as they have spots available, which is usually just one.  The audition is almost always conducted like a typical orchestral audition with a screen and rounds.  For those who make it though this rigorous process and are selected to be in the band, they still have to be qualified to enlist in the Navy and go through boot camp.  But they are exempt from the "A" school and get to report directly to the Navy Band after they finish basic training, which is a plus.  Also, it is a permanent assignment, which means that the person gets to stay in DC for their entire career if they want to, they will never be relocated to a different band.  Oh yeah, and all Navy Band musicians get an E-6 rating straight out of boot camp.  Just to put it in perspective, two out of the four recruiters in my recruiting office are only E-5s, and they each have several years in the Navy under their belt.  Soooo, winning this audition will be totes amazing.

Usually, Navy musicians in the Fleet bands are allowed to audition for the Navy Band in DC, but in order to be invited to the audition they need a letter from their commander giving them permission.  And usually to get this permission they have to do a pre-audition with their commander to see if they can actually win the audition.  My situation is unique because I haven't been assigned to a band yet, so I'm free to audition since there isn't any conflict of interest (I actually made sure it was ok with all the higher ups in Navy Music).

So I hope this makes things a little more clear to what I'm doing on Monday.  I will probably post one more blog before I leave, just because I'm a nerd and enjoy writing about clarinet.  And its usually what I do in my practice breaks, haha!

Audition season!

Its that time of year again.  In the academic music world, early spring means one thing...school auditions!  Seniors (both in college and high school) are playing auditions that will let them know how they will be spending the next few years of their life, whether its in an undergraduate or graduate program, or something else.  Now, I have not taken a college audition in almost 4 years, but every year around this time I think about my experiences and all the people who are practicing like crazy right about now.  I wanted to take a moment to reflect, and maybe give some advice to anyone that may be stressing right now and wondering what the next few years will bring.

While I don’t have any experience auditioning for undergraduate programs (my “audition” at CSU consisted of me playing a Rose etude...just one haha), I do have quite a bit of experience in auditioning for graduate programs.  Over a 14 month period, I auditioned at 7 different schools.  Here’s a little background for those who don’t know: five years ago (!!), in 2006, after graduating from CSU in the December 2005 I ambitiously auditioned for programs at University of Denver, Eastman, DePaul, and Northwestern.  I say “ambitiously” because three of those schools were way beyond my reach, based on my playing ability at the time.  Not that I had known that; I had been in the CSU/Colorado bubble my entire playing career and I really had no idea how good you had to be to make it anywhere.  I won’t go into details, but it was quite a reality check…I recall paying a certain professor $100 for me to cry in a lesson with him at Northwestern when I realized how not ready I was for the auditions I was taking that weekend.  I believe Daphnis is what sent me over the edge during that fateful hour.  March 2006 was NOT a good month for me...3 reject letters!  Anyway, because I didn’t know what else to do, I went ahead and enrolled at DU, the only school who accepted me that year.  Fast forward to the end of 2006…started dating my current husband, and we got engaged within 6 months.  My life had done a complete 180!  He was finishing up his Masters degree at CSU and was interested in continuing on for a DMA.  I said OK, I don’t like DU that much so I’ll audition everywhere you audition so that we can be together.  I felt like I had improved A LOT and I would have a better chance this time.  The schools ended up being Eastman (again), Michigan, Michigan State, and Indiana University.  Like I said, I didn’t even choose those schools!   Those were Ben’s choices.  Again, long story short, I found myself accepted to all four schools with a full ride scholarship to Indiana.  WHAT?!

Looking back, there were vast differences (other than my playing) in my auditions in 2007 that made them more successful than in the previous year.  I won’t go into that in detail, rather, I am going to list some do’s and don’ts to students who are about to audition for various music schools out there based on my experience.

1.  DON’T STRESS OUT!  The outcome of your audition won’t be determined by how much you practice in the month before the audition. It will be determined by how hard you have worked and practiced in the year or years before the audition and how open your mind is to new ideas.  Yes it is important to be fully prepared, but keep in mind that schools are not necessarily looking for perfection; they are looking for potential.  If you can show that you have good fundamentals and have an open mind to learning, you should be fine.  One of the reasons I was so successful in my 2nd round of auditions is because I took them in stride – I relied on all the hard work I put in the past year.  For example, at my 2nd audition at Eastman, I auditioned for both Ken Grant and Robert Dilutis.  Anyone who has met Robert, he can be extremely intimidating!  It was very scary...but I clearly remember him asking me to play RK’s Capriccio Epagnol a second time, with some adjustments (specifcally the crazy runs at the end...he wanted me to emphasize the low notes more).  And I did exactly what he told me to do – I think that could have been a deciding factor in my acceptance.  Mostly everyone will go in and play their rep perfectly, its how you interact with the people that you are auditioning for that will be a deciding factor.

2.  Do make sure that you take a step back and be realistic.  Can you really compete with the level of applicants at this particular school?  I wish I had done this my first round of auditions, I would have saved myself a lot of embarrassment and heartache!  Its great to shoot for the stars, but its also important to know your own limits and to not set yourself up for failure.  This is why I don't audition for the CSO or NY Phil...ha.

3.  DON’T audition for the school you are currently attending.  Now, this is purely my opinion, but if you go to a different school, you have a different teacher, different environment, etc. which in turn gives you a fresh perspective.  No offense to anyone who has done this, but it really “grinds my gears” when people do multiple degrees at one school.  I am a big advocate of getting out of your comfort zone – more learning takes place.  When I graduated from CSU, my teacher offered me a full scholarship to stay and do my masters there.  I said, no way!  I needed to get out of there.  And, I loved being a student at Eastman, but I would not get another degree there – I want a fresh experience if I ever decided to pursue another degree.

4. Don’t play too much repertoire.  This was my biggest mistake in my 2006 auditions - I was too focused on quantity.  That was a big mistake!  Seriously, what was I thinking?  Maybe I thought by having an impressive rep list that it could make up for the fact that I was a sub par clarinetist?  Right.  Anyway, clearly QUALITY is much better than quantity.  In 2007, I prepared a fraction of the rep as compared to the year before.  I basically did what was on the list for each school, nothing more.  This is when it is ok to do the minimum.

5. Do be yourself!  Professors want to know who you are and if you would be a good fit for their studios.  They want to know if they would enjoy teaching you and whether or not you will be a good student.  Don’t go in there a be a stone cold face – be personable.  Its hard to act relaxed when you are in such a high pressure situation, but I always tried to imagine I was in a lesson, not an audition – I tended to open up more and not be as shy and intimidated.  And remember, often times you are auditioning them as a teacher as well.  Remember to ask yourself, would I be happy spending two years or more in their studio?  This should make you more relaxed (at least it would for me).

6.  Do know a brief background of the pieces you are playing (even the excerpts), just in case.  It has never happened to me that I have been asked about it in an audition, but you never know.  You don’t have to recite a dissertation on a whim, but know basics, like when was the piece written?  For who/what?  What other pieces did the composer write? Things like that.  Always better to be safe than sorry – you don’t want to have to say “I don’t know” if they do ask!

Basically, the gist is to not practice a lot more than normal, and to stay relaxed about the whole thing.  Its really NOT as big of a deal as people make it.  At least I don't think so.  I am not advocating not being prepared, I am advocating being relaxed in your preparation.  As long as you have always worked hard, and keep working hard, you should have no problem getting into a school that is appropriate for your playing ability.  Happy practicing!

Planning...it's the new "thing"

This week in lieu of my regular practicing on Tuesday night, I decided that I would do a video recording to re-evaluate how I was sounding.  I always initially feel like its a wasted practice night when I make a recording, until I listen back to the recording I made - it always opens my eyes to something weird that I'm doing, which is worth a thousand hours of practice.

But this time, instead of doing just a regular recording in my practice room, I thought it might be beneficial to do a mock audition in another room of my house that I don't normally practice in.  The purpose of which is to get used to playing in a foreign environment.  While my living room isn't exactly a concert hall, it is different enough to in acoustics and feel to make the playing experience feel somewhat strange.

While I was at work that day, I was thinking about whether or not I should do my complete daily warm up to prepare for my "audition", and it dawned on me how chaotic my real pre-audition routine actually is (and by chaotic I mean completely nonexistent) - which probably either directly or indirectly affected the actual outcome of how I play at auditions.  I knew my daily routine would not work...it takes over an hour to fully go through and I need a tuner, drone, I decided I would take the opportunity to try to establish some kind of audition warm up - something that I know will be a reliable way to warm up my embouchure and fingers, and to choose a reed, all while surrounded by a million honking clarinet players.  I think I made a good start - here's what I came up with:
         
1. Chromatic scale of full range in whole notes at quarter = 60, no louder than mezzoforte (I don't want to be one of those honking clarinetists!) - play once through on each instrument called for at the audition.
2. Klose scales at quarter = 60
3. Klose scales at quarter =120
4. Full range chromatic scale with articulated pattern of eighth and two sixteenths, one note per measure at quarter = 120.
5. Play through each excerpt at a greatly reduced tempo - e.g. Mozart expo at quarter = 80.

Of course, I switch off between instruments so that I get warmed up on everything - also switch reeds when necessary until I find the "perfect" reed.  I'm going to keep tweaking this routine to see what works best, I might add in another repetition of the Klose at quarter = 80 because my fingers felt a little clumsy going from 60-120.  In my normal routine, I do Klose scales in 3rds at 80 in between which bridges the change in tempo a little, but I am trying to keep things as simple as possible.  In its entirety, it takes about 20-30 minutes to go through this routine, which is about the minimum amount of time that I will have to warm up.  We'll see if it pays off to have a plan at the audition!

After I listened back to the recording I made on Tuesday night, I found that I was making a lot of little mistakes.  Not huge mistakes, just bobbles here and there, even with pieces that I should be able to do in my sleep like the Mozart and Mendelssohn Scherzo.  I thought to myself, I really need to practice the auditioning part!  I kind of did it before, but I would do a mock audition only once before an audition and call that "practice".  Plus I would do it in the comfort of my own practice room, which kind of defeats the purpose.  It would be like if I ran through the Mozart only once a day or two before the audition.  Ha!

So it has been decided.  I need to practice the audition part of the audition in addition to the execution of playing the excerpts.  I am going to do a mock audition 2-3 times per week for the next three weeks (i'll record only once a week though - I don't have time to go through all of that audio/video!).  But I'm going to set some ground rules to make sure I don't "cheat":

1. Change the location of the mock audition so that I don't get used to the same place.  Tuesday  was my living room...next time maybe the kitchen?  Or the bathroom?  Maybe I'll go to Eastman before school starts back up again next week?
2. Always use the pre-established "audition warm up".
3. Create a "prelim list" and a "finals list" before each mock.  The finals list will probably include all the excerpts minus the Mozart in a random order.  Prelim list will always include Mozart and Mendelssohn Scherzo, along with two or three others in random order.

Now I know I can't recreate exactly what the audition will be like in Washington DC, but I'm going to try to get as close as possible without being completely rediculous (like playing unrelated music or tv while trying to warm up or pretending to walk in to the audition...although now that I think about it, it might be useful to do that!)

I am super committed to this audition - my motivation came when my recruiter told me if I won the audition I would outrank most of the guys who work in my recruiting office right out of boot camp!  And plus its a hefty raise...about $600 more a month!

I'll keep updated on my progress.